The Rock or How I got chased by apes in Spain.
A few years ago my brother and I travelled to Spain. It was in that strange time after September 11th when you could leave the country but only after running a gauntlet replete with men armed with machine guns and security agents demanding that you remove entirely too many articles of clothing. It was more surreal than discomfiting and camouflaged people with automatic weapons didn't make me feel any more secure. At any rate, after the gauntlet and an aeroplane ride we arrived safely.
Southern Spain isn't exactly jumping in January but we had a car, a map and nothing better to do than to drive around a bit. And drive we did. Right to a place called Gibraltar; a little coastal town where the main road goes right through the airport, the people are half British/half Spaniard and towering above, visible from everywhere is a small mountain reasonably named the Rock of Gibraltar. Sometimes called the Pillar of Hercules it served as a fortress for the British against the Spanish in the 1700's and for the Allies against the Axis in the 1900's. It's big, it's beautiful and if you can get to the top on a clear day you can see right across to Africa.
It happened to be a clear day when we went up the rock and were subsequently chased off of it. After buying some provisions we took a gondola to the top and found the highest point which happened to be the roof of a small nondescript building which had a snack bar and some coin operated binoculars. After taking some pictures and gazing out across the Mediterranean my brother and I decided to have some of the chocolate we had bought earlier. Unfortunately, my brother didn't get to taste his as it was stolen by a three foot tall furry primate. Forgive me, I didn't tell you about the primates. The top of the Rock of Gibraltar is inhabited by a small population of Barbary Macaques known locally as Gibraltar Rock Apes. They mind their business and aren't so aloof as not to allow the occasional photo op. Here's how my brother lost his candy.
We were standing near the edge of the roof, over by the binoculars. My brother began to open his candy and the sound of the foil wrapping got the attention of a near by ape. The ape sprang off the steps he was sitting on and began running toward my brother and I. Being the first time either of us had a wild animal running in our direction we made like deers in headlights. The fear of being mauled or eaten by this heretofore pleasant creature was shortly relieved, however. The beast, when he got near to us, leaped into the air snatching my brothers treat and landed on the ledge to enjoy it in front of us. My brother was fuming and mumbling something about pushing the ape off the ledge. I couldn't really respond seeing as I was laughing so hard I could hardly breath.
After leaving the building we turned around to see the rock apes that lined the roof top. My brother was a bit mad, what with being mugged by an ape and all, so I, being the thoughtful older brother came up with an idea for some retribution. The apes were on top of the building which was about three stories high. The side of the building was sheer and seemingly impossible to climb down even for a monkey so I figured I could wave my chocolate at the apes and crumple the foil wrapper to mock them. They would never be able to get us. With chocolate in hand I did mock. For my brother and everyone else who had been accosted by a Rock Ape. The apes heard my chocolate insult, however, and responded.
Slowly they turned their attention towards us and one by one made their move. They ran down the wall. That wall, that sheer un-descendable wall was the keystone of my master plan and they defeated it. Before we knew it we were running from about fifteen chocolate hungry primates. Though a mess of uncontrollable laughter and fear of ape bite we were able to pull each other and ran as fast as we could. I don't know how far we ran or for how long but the beasties eventually gave up the chase. My brother and I continued and walked all the way to our car which was parked at the base of the rock. It was a long walk but we had chocolate for sustenance. That's right, I never let it go. Those apes would have had to catch me and kill me for my Cadbury's.
Southern Spain isn't exactly jumping in January but we had a car, a map and nothing better to do than to drive around a bit. And drive we did. Right to a place called Gibraltar; a little coastal town where the main road goes right through the airport, the people are half British/half Spaniard and towering above, visible from everywhere is a small mountain reasonably named the Rock of Gibraltar. Sometimes called the Pillar of Hercules it served as a fortress for the British against the Spanish in the 1700's and for the Allies against the Axis in the 1900's. It's big, it's beautiful and if you can get to the top on a clear day you can see right across to Africa.
It happened to be a clear day when we went up the rock and were subsequently chased off of it. After buying some provisions we took a gondola to the top and found the highest point which happened to be the roof of a small nondescript building which had a snack bar and some coin operated binoculars. After taking some pictures and gazing out across the Mediterranean my brother and I decided to have some of the chocolate we had bought earlier. Unfortunately, my brother didn't get to taste his as it was stolen by a three foot tall furry primate. Forgive me, I didn't tell you about the primates. The top of the Rock of Gibraltar is inhabited by a small population of Barbary Macaques known locally as Gibraltar Rock Apes. They mind their business and aren't so aloof as not to allow the occasional photo op. Here's how my brother lost his candy.
We were standing near the edge of the roof, over by the binoculars. My brother began to open his candy and the sound of the foil wrapping got the attention of a near by ape. The ape sprang off the steps he was sitting on and began running toward my brother and I. Being the first time either of us had a wild animal running in our direction we made like deers in headlights. The fear of being mauled or eaten by this heretofore pleasant creature was shortly relieved, however. The beast, when he got near to us, leaped into the air snatching my brothers treat and landed on the ledge to enjoy it in front of us. My brother was fuming and mumbling something about pushing the ape off the ledge. I couldn't really respond seeing as I was laughing so hard I could hardly breath.
After leaving the building we turned around to see the rock apes that lined the roof top. My brother was a bit mad, what with being mugged by an ape and all, so I, being the thoughtful older brother came up with an idea for some retribution. The apes were on top of the building which was about three stories high. The side of the building was sheer and seemingly impossible to climb down even for a monkey so I figured I could wave my chocolate at the apes and crumple the foil wrapper to mock them. They would never be able to get us. With chocolate in hand I did mock. For my brother and everyone else who had been accosted by a Rock Ape. The apes heard my chocolate insult, however, and responded.
Slowly they turned their attention towards us and one by one made their move. They ran down the wall. That wall, that sheer un-descendable wall was the keystone of my master plan and they defeated it. Before we knew it we were running from about fifteen chocolate hungry primates. Though a mess of uncontrollable laughter and fear of ape bite we were able to pull each other and ran as fast as we could. I don't know how far we ran or for how long but the beasties eventually gave up the chase. My brother and I continued and walked all the way to our car which was parked at the base of the rock. It was a long walk but we had chocolate for sustenance. That's right, I never let it go. Those apes would have had to catch me and kill me for my Cadbury's.
posted by A Quiet Demagogue at 10:34 AM
1 Comments:
I love your stories. I'm having visions of kidnapping you, locking you in a chamber and forcing you to produce masterpieces for my reading pleasure.
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